Dying Flowers: A Return to Affection in your Relationship

Dying flowers are all around us. Once happy spouses who over time become resentful, bitter, angry, depressed and lonely. A flower unattended to will die. Emotions that are not intentionally cultivated will quench. There’s something so simple yet so effective. It will keep the embers burning in your relationship.

The power of attraction is strong and this has been known over the years to begin with sight. Once you see something you want, you are attracted to it. This same way, you connect with someone by simply looking at their eyes. An action that gave birth to the parlance “love at first sight”.

Many couples in long term relationships have forgotten how to look into each others eyes. They are inundated with the responsibilities of raising kids, work, bills and so much more. Couples who do not connect on this level usually feel alone and stressed out. Certain research also discovered that children who were denied eye contact while growing up were more likely to suffer depression and isolation. In extreme cases, they developed anti-social traits.

Many husbands and wives have long forgotten what it feels like to connect visually with their partner. A simple experiment i usually ask couples to carry out is this. “Try looking into your partners eyes for one minute, if you get uncomfortable or feel awkward, it simply means your relationship needs a boost”.

Maybe you are just too busy or you have never considered the value of eye contact before, I suggest you try to  improve eye contact with your partner and build connection and intimacy. Here are some suggestions .

One: Leave all the distractions out and make out time for the both of you. Put your mobile phones away and leave every electronic off.

Two: Practice looking into each others eyes. Both of you can start with shorter time spans of 3 minutes and work your way to 10 minutes. It may be uncomfortable at first but trust me, it’s for the better.

Three: Assume a very comfortable position and then face each other.

Four: You need to relax while doing this.

Five: It’s time to gaze into your beloveds eyes. Smile if you want to but i don’t recommend making funny faces because it takes away from the seriousness of the activity.

Six: Open your heart and feel how much you love your partner.

Seven: In return, receive your partner’s love for you.

Eight: Once the alarm or timer goes off, thank each other.

Nine: Get locked in a warm embrace.

Ten: Both of you just achieved something great and it’s worth celebrating. I suggest you take yourselves out or simply cuddle up for a good movie.

If there are “meddling kids” wondering what you both are getting up to, proudly inform them that mommy and daddy need their time (depending on how old they are). If there’s a baby in the house, first put them to sleep before you commence.

Considering the pressures we face in the country, many marriages are hard hit. Marriage as an institution is threatened by scarcity. Learn to water your marriage and relationship regardless.

A happy home is something you deserve, go for it.

Written by Obike Temple

Counselor|Brand-Sage|Entrepreneur