20 things i Have Learnt About Human Behavior

This article speaks on 20 things I’ve learnt about human behavior. My name is Temple Obike and all my life i have genuinely been interested in observing human behavioral patterns. Human beings do not just act but have underlying first and second layers of reasoning behind most of their actions.

In my young career as a psychotherapist and counselor, i have been blessed to have worked with over 300 clients from various ethnicities, religious backgrounds, societal class, sexual orientations and with diverse belief systems. The more i speak to them, the more i learn about human behavior. These lessons are purely from my experiential point of reason and in no way forms a general opinion on the point mentioned. Here are 20 things I’ve learnt over the years about humans;



1 Humans love choice because it gives them an illusion of control but once a purchase decision comes with too many options, people will simply not buy anything. Too many choices affect the ability of many people to confidently part ways with their cash.This is especially for my business people out there. Give customers too many options, service offerings, solutions etc. (usually 4 and above), you stand a higher risk of loosing that customer.

2 Telling a lie requires 5 times the mental effort required to tell a truth. Lying takes more mental space because even though they are lying, they always need to remember what the truth really is.

3 Risk-taking behavior is not a thing that has a life-wide relevance. For instance, your dare-devil male friend who could drive from Lagos to Abuja all night and alone between 9pm – 6am might be scared of his boss.

4 People who seek out advice from other people end up influencing the person they are asking for advice. This is a great point for pastors, lawyers, therapists, counselors, teachers or other individuals who are in positions where they offer advice to others. Never forget the professional conducts of your practice and only become personal or cite personal examples IF it positively helps the overall case at hand. There is a level of openness required to genuinely assist a fellow human and whatever you open up to has the ability to influence you if they know how. 

5 Women often times argue with people they actually care for and less arguments occur when there is little or no existent care. Fella’s please note, arguments aren’t always an invitation to a fight, it’s sometimes an invitation to solve a problem.

6 Visibility and Immorality are Inversely proportional. Simply put, the lower the odds of getting caught, the higher the chances of indulging in immoral acts like vouyerism, murder, envy, theft, rape etc. All immoral acts require less visibility to be perpetrated.

7. Again on morality, i discovered that our habits and general behavior have profound effect on our morality. For instance, a man who hates hard-work will naturally gravitate to anything else that will bring in resources without work even if it’s crime. On the reverse, a woman who receives gifts from externals without it being payment for a “legitimate” service rendered will most likely plunge into deeper levels of immorality if that is what it requires to sustain the “gifting” events.  The habits and behavior we develop as human beings affect our moral state and marriage, a loving relationship or religion does not change those. It only changes when the human being involved decides to change. This is for the amazing soft-work boys, slay-mama’s, sisters & queens. No judgement, just stating the obvious.

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8 As twisted as it sounds, one of the ways of getting the attention you desire from someone is simply by ignoring them. The human response when faced with attention withdrawal is to fight it’s way back to regain the attention. This is especially true in scenarios where the mind believes that attention was withdrawn without any logical reason. This usually happens in both sexes. Something that’s hinged on a “coquettish” trait.

Coquette – This is a romantic give-and-take that can reduce the most heroic individual (usually men) into an insecure shell of their former self.

9 Amidst a group of individuals displaying any form of emotion/activity (weeping,entertaining, laughing, jubilating etc), human beings usually tend to concentrate more on the person within that group whom they feel closest to. This is simply because the human psychology by nature loves predictability and familiarity. Only the psychologically secure human will venture and pry.

10 Most human beings consider themselves great judges of character but 95% of humans will ALWAYS trust an ATTRACTIVE and HONEST appearance more than SINCERITY. No matter how long it takes before they trust, humans most times trust attractiveness and honest appearances over real sincerity. The down side to basing your trust on attractiveness and honest appearance is that most humans spend all their lives cultivating a persona that fits perfectly into their social everyday life while suppressing their real “Shadow” self. 

11 Human beings who are prone to ANGER are usually more susceptible to COVET something that belongs to someone else. The same passion it takes to become a go-getter is rooted somewhere between envy and anger (see my post on this topic). For many people who may not have discovered how to positively turn envy into a positive motivating force, their envy develops into anger which could morph into anything else like hatred, murder, defamation, black-mail etc.

12 Intimacy of any kind is loved by the human brain. This is simply because human psychology interprets physical and emotional intimacy as a form of validation. Validation that makes the human in question feel, wanted, desired, loved etc. So we notice that for individuals who were deprived of emotional intimacy by their parents, they either go to an extreme where they deny their need for intimacy by manifesting overt strictness, masculinity and prudish tendencies. Others on the reverse side become walking emotional wrecking trains ready to jump into the arms of the next available person who promises intimacy. Relationships work when intimately balanced individuals come together.



13 70% of human beings are almost NEVER as disciplined as they make others believe they are. They simply perform and behave better when they know they are being watched. Discipline is a personal journey everyone takes on their own volition because if not, it could become an entire dance of hypocrisy.

14 Human beings who have low self-esteem are more likely to humiliate others & pass quick erroneous judgement especially if they have the support of others or can hide among the crowd and throw their voices.

15 Human envy always begins as admiration. This plays out in the relationships between a lot of celebrities/public office holders and their followers. Citing Point 9 above, people gravitate towards celebrities/public office holders they can either identify with his life’s path, identify with his craft or one they can live out their fantasies through the celebrities/public office holders life. When these celebrities then fail in some regard (outbursts, scandals etc.) these same fans turn around and becomes their worst critics. This is the reason many individuals follow celebrities/public office holders whom they despise just to be the first ones to know when they (the celeb) make another mistake.

16 ATTRACTIVE human beings are not always SINCERE as many erroneously believe. They charm their way through career and life as the people around them are taken in by their looks. This is not a point supposed to make anyone feel bad for being beautiful or handsome. It’s just a point i am looking at from the perspective of the person(s) who concentrate more on looks rather than the individual.

17 When in public, humans are less likely to help other people in dire need but rather they would prefer to be a part of the crowd watching. In psychology this is called “The Bystander Effect”. Have you seen any of those viral videos of an accident or incident where human beings are standing, recording with their devices or simply shouting one word repeatedly rather than helping? That’s exactly the point. Humans will not help you if there are other people around and the more people you have around an individual in need,the less likely that individual is to receive any form of assistance.

18 When a human being asks you a question that they usually do not ask or a question that’s a sudden departure from their norm, the chances are that they already know the answer to the questions they asked. They simply just need you to help them tick a mental checklist (whatever it is for them). It is your responsibility to decide on telling the truth regardless of everything else.

19 Humans who keep their goals hidden from everyone else are more likely to succeed. This act by itself provides them with the motivation to succeed as they constantly fantasize about their big reveal when their goal(s) have been achieved. This is an advice to the flippant conversationalist. Physical Interference is high and in some cases spiritual (yes this is a possibility because many scholars  have introduced a psychological aspect to spirit-ism).  So in essence, stay hush and keep pushing.

20 Human psychology has revealed to me that giving respect to your fellow human being does not necessarily guarantee that you will get that in return. Human beings don’t respect people, Humans respect power, strength and influence. If you are perceived as weak, you most likely won’t get respect from as many people who you expect it from. This does not make the humans who dish out this disrespect bad or uncouth, it simply makes them human because at the end of the day it’s all about the Darwanian theory of “Survival of the Fittest”. 

As always, i hope this piece on “20 things l’ve learnt about Human Behavior” helped someone. The more we understand our fellow human beings, the less stressful we find it to improve our social intelligence skills.  Knowledge they say is power but i say in it’s right application lies real mastery.

Written by Obike Temple

A Counselor, psychotherapist, brand-Sage and entrepreneur who has counseled over three-hundred couples, individuals, substance abuse and grief-stricken clients.

For more information on related issues and to schedule an appointment with “Temple’s Counsel”  visit our counseling page, chat us up via our website or send a whatsapp message to +2348109055475.

International Appointments are scheduled within 24 hours when clients make payments via this link here and then sending an email with the receipt of payment to templescounsel@gmail.com.

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